Another week of work, well, not so much. Monday was a holiday, and Tuesday I was on-call, and was off. Then again on Friday, so that leaves only Wednesday and Thursday worked. But that’s OK, because I know how to keep busy. I kept looking into boots for work, and realized that there is no point in getting size 16’s, as there are no insoles that are that big. So, I decided I would return my Bama sockets, and opt for wool socks instead.

I also wanted to clarify something I said in a previous post about my job. I said something about not caring if I get the job or not. Having work certainly is important, and I do value my job, even if it sucks mud. It’s an excellent way to inflict pain, to toughen up, and to feel better when I’m not working – like a really long ice bath! So, although I’m unsure of how long I will work here, and will continue to look for greatness. I have no plans to quit without finding that greatness first, and if/when I do, I will exit gracefully. I want tough skin, and I’m going to get it. My life has been far too easy, and my skin is far too soft – but this also means I have much less to show for myself…

I also did a lot of looking into car stuff, such as registering the vehicle, changing over my license, and insurance. I ended up almost finalizing my insurance, and it looks like I’ll be saving $700 by using my local address here in Edmonton, as well as a group discount that I apparently get from being a university alumni. Plus, the online discount. I also got my phone fixed – it turns out I didn’t need to do anything, just reset it with the side buttons! So, that was a close call. Boring stuff, anyway…

Another thing I did was binge watch a bunch of videos. I haven’t finished it yet, but I am nearly done watching the interview Joe Rogan had with Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and my mind is being blown. So, I forget what I wrote about last week, but I had another idea about the truth of our reality – here it is:

Whatever we are, this is not the real world. I mean it is, or… it could be, but the best metaphor of what this is, is we are viewing the real reality through a simplified version of stimuli. It’s like, we are looking through a shared artificial reality, through our bodies, through vessels, that aren’t actually what we are in a higher sense. When we close our eyes, we can almost see the outside of the real world, whatever it may be. Sort of like the matrix, we are in a chamber. However, unlike the matrix, the real world, the outside world, is not dark. It’s basically everything we wanted the real world to be – our real world. Maybe not everyone is a part of the same real world, and we all go back to our own respective reality, whenever we are called back. That could explain why we notice differences in another (as people), a metaphysical difference that we can’t quantify through experiences in this world.

This also explains why some people (highly educated, and highly experienced atheists, for example) have their true reality, which they describe differently. In the atheist example, there was nothing before, and there is nothing after. Perhaps they really are “NPCs”. It’s not that their true memory was blocked, they are just a program for the rest of us to enjoy. Sure, they may have their own sentience, and are real people, but they have decided on their own, that they do not believe. And so, if they choose not to believe the before, nor the after, perhaps it’s in the best interest of the rest of those from their original reality (if they did come from one – time and the order of events has much less significance in this perspective) that they never existed before, and will not exist after.

The only way we can be individuals of any high caliber, is if we experience the world through virgin eyes, as if it’s our first time. This is why we can’t remember shit. We are taught and tested simultaneously. That is why this world is so fraught with evil and horrible things, with seemingly zero formidable resistance. There is no counter balance (in this realm), because if there were, speeders wouldn’t speed, and they would never catch those who are susceptible to do bad things (who inevitably do it, and under the worst possible circumstances). And I realize what this sounds like, but…this doesn’t have to be hippi-dipi stuff. Obviously, the rules of this reality still apply, there are still laws of physics, and other people are real, and NPCs don’t exist, and grandiose conspiracies are still probably a thing. However, in the grand scheme, this is all just a test. The grand reality is much bigger, but at the same time, much simpler.

I think this way of seeing things is quite freeing, and results in less conflict between [higher] ideas of different magnitude – conspiracies, meaning of life, etc.

Thanks for reading, whoever you are!

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