Monday July 17th
Work was great, it was a lot harder this day than the previous day, but much shorter. The driver of the hydrovac truck is named Will, and he seems like a pretty cool person. He is older than me for sure, but I don’t know by how much. I like how we can sit in the truck and not say anything for like half an hour, in silence. And we can also have some pretty good conversation. After work, I phoned my parents (my mom texted me that she wanted me to call). I am getting pretty tired of hearing how worried she is about me. I am not a parent, so I can’t pretend to understand, but it doesn’t sound like she believes in me.
There is always so much worry in her voice, and always so many questions making everything sound like it’s so bad, like I have to drive back to Ontario to go crawl into her arms. She doesn’t believe in me, and it really affects me. My own parent cannot just leave me alone, and let me live my life, but instead, inject doubt into my subconscious. I am wondering if one day, I will stop calling and be that asshole of a son that doesn’t call…or pick up the phone… I don’t want to… but I do not want this in my life. I will have to make this potently clear next time I speak to her. Not in a mean, aggressive, or cold way, but as rationally as possible. I can’t just say nothing. I am absolutely tired of this, it’s un-fucking-bearable. After note: I think I may know why she talks this way… and it has to do with recent medical operations, and a deep subconscious understanding of reality…
I went to Dollarscama to get some dark chocolate, then showered at the gym and had a hydromassage. Their system didn’t want to work, then it did, then it didn’t, then it did. So, I lost a couple minutes out of the massage, but that’s OK. At least it didn’t rip the soft and supple muscles throughout my body into 10 million itty bity pieces (we gotta be grateful for the good things in our lives). I went to a 24/7 Tims to do computer stuff, like ask chat GPT some things, do my own research, write this, etc., but it closed at 11pm. I drove to my home base Tims, 20 minutes, to do about 5 or 10 minutes of writing. Heck, I guess I’ll take 20 minutes. Then 20 minutes back, or maybe I will just park at a nearby Walmart, as I won’t save any time driving back, as the highway saves time. But do you know what doesn’t save time?
As I was on my way to home base Tims, I was ranting and raving pretty hard. The rain was coming down mighty hard as well. I didn’t really have to drive here, I could have just finished the article in my car. It wouldn’t have been comfortable, but I could have done it. However, I want to be in a good setting, so I can deliver something not only readable, but enjoyable. So, I had to leave that Tim Hortons, drive 20 minutes, do maybe 20 minutes of work, then drive 20 minutes back. I didn’t have to, and it’s not anyone else’s fault but my own. I could have, should have, but didn’t and more accurately, forgot to ask what time they closed the inside restaurant at. I forget to ask a lot of things, a lot of times. Other times, I remember to ask unnecessary things, that I would easily learn the answer to, in due time.
We are not as old as we seem to be. We aren’t even old as we’ve been on this earth. However old we are, take that, and that’s how many hours old we are. And we should treat each other that way, because this system we’ve built and continue to build takes our times and throws it into the shitter. We all make mistakes in our lives, and those mistakes take up a lot of time, but then we go ahead and build entire systems around mistakes, and then we go and steal millions and billions of people’s time, their entire lives, and could ourselves “modern” humans. So, it makes sense to think of someone as 0.01% of their actual age, because none of us are anywhere near our fullest potential.
The fact that we normalize this process of eliminating the actual time we are able to process information, learn, and grow to a higher form of human existence, shows how far we’ve sunk as a civilization. And I’m not even including the fact that we think it’s a smart idea to drink fluoridated water (sure, we’ll kill rats with it, but it’s OK for you to drink), and all the other crazy things (it sort of just goes on forever into a spiral of never-ending degeneracy). Don’t get me wrong, I get the idea of fluoridation, I’d rather that than some other nasty shit, but you’re not supposed to drink or make food with it! I digress, this is a whole nother topic…
You might be thinking my previous percentage is way too low, maybe something like 50% is better, because 0.01%…!? Wow, that’s extreme! No, it’s not. We learn things, realize truths, and come to epiphanies in seconds if not milliseconds. I believe that this idea shouldn’t be disempowering, but the opposite. We are so powerful, but we disarm ourselves through basically every waking second, through our economic systems, through our written language and words, through each other, and through other completely separate systems of things. Anyways, it’s been longer than 20 minutes. It’s been closer to an hour. Bob came in about 30 minutes ago. I like Bob. Hopefully he didn’t take the poke. Anyway, all I can do is control my own body. And my body needs sleep.
Harmony is coming soon…thanks for reading!
Tims morning $2.45 Tims shithole: $2.15 Tims Home base: $2.15 Total: $6.75