Monday July 10th – Edmonton Bound

Woke up around 8am and finished writing articles from previous day. I made the steak that they gave me from the previous day and it was really good. It’s almost like anything that I cook up with the grill turns out great. I have yet to make a meal that I cannot eat. The avocado that I cut in half wasn’t ripe yet, but I cut it up anyway. I had to do a little troubleshooting on the wire that was supposed to charge my battery box. When I woke up, I noticed that it was not charging. I was worried that the wire may have disconnected by the firewall, as I have it extended around there (that would have been basically impossible to fix without near ideal conditions, i.e., no ants crawling up my leg, no mosquitoes draining my blood, no direct sunlight, I would have needed to remove things from the engine bay, it would not be fun, and there would be no guarantee of success in the fix). I thought maybe force on the wire may have pulled it apart. Luckily, it was just the L bend extension. Despite it being taped, it came loose. I fixed it, cleaned up, left a bit of money for the steak, a Cliff bar, my card with my thanks, and was on my way.

Since there were no coffee shops nearby, my first stop was about 20 minutes away in a town called North Battleford. I was in a coffee shop called “Café 4 U” – I wanted to switch things up from the typical Tims. It was quite expensive – nearly $10 for an Americano & a chocolate pastry (a “Belgian Chocolate Twist” – w0w h0w f@ncy). After doing this article update, I went to the restroom to wash my hands and take care of business. As I was finishing my business in the restroom, I heard some commotion going on outside – it seemed someone else wanted to use the washroom. As I came out, a little kid was giving me the stink eye pretty bad… I mean, I wasn’t in there for that long, but OK little boy. It seems that I ran into the owner, he was about 8 or 9 years old, and he did not welcome my presence in the establishment, even after paying ten bucks for a little coffee and pasty. Jokes aside, I left soon after, and went to a Tims (in regular Battleford) so I could get a coffee on the go.

It may seem small enough to not mention, but I will: The doors for this Tims were automated and opened like doors would inside of a star-ship, or perhaps an airport security checkpoint. I mentioned this to some people inside, and they just looked at me and laughed nervously, like I just escaped from a mental asylum. The doors for this Tim Hortons very likely cost more than two of my cars (at minimum, there were two starship doors, one right after the other) but I’m the crazy one. I just got treated like a king by complete strangers, and back I am in regular society. There’s a part of me that, despite seeing the good in people, is starting to hate people more and more, as each day passes by. That part of me is starting to see why Jeff kind of likes Bill Gates – there’s a part of society that seriously needs to be eliminated, and the only way this can be done, is with their own cooperation. They literally have to do it themselves, it’s the only way we can move our society to the next level. Globalization has gotten too out of hand, it has spread so far and wide, and so deeply into every crack in our society, that the only way the final solution can be implemented is with the cooperation of the victims themselves. How clever.

I headed out for my next stop: Lloydminster. This town is right on the border of Saskatchewan and Alberta. I phoned my cousin so I could joke around while walking across the street from the Tims, technically into another province – and then back. He reminded me of how weird I was – I almost forgot. I got another Coffee, then went to fill up on gas and saved 7 cents a liter. The gas station here did pre-pay with credit, but then gave you the remainder in cash… so it seems like an interesting place to get a cash advance with no interest…if I understand this correctly. Maybe I am overthinking this. It took me some time to decide my final destination. Was it a Walmart or the Gym? I chose the gym. On the way, I almost stopped to rest, but decided that besides to do a personal oil change, I would keep going. I almost detoured to go to a natural spring, but by the time I remembered, I was already past it, and there was no chance of my turning back and detouring hour an hour to get maybe a liter of water.

I got to the gym in the east end of Edmonton around 7:30pm, and had to sit for 15 minutes to decide what I was going to do. Wait… I need meat. Where is Walmart? It seemed the gym was exactly in between two Walmart’s, so I scouted them both via maps to see which had a parking lot that that would be better to cook in. I went, got my food (the serial killer sunglasses [actually they are driving glasses] are saving my ass, I swear) and I decided to change my mind on the Wally’s parking lot. Honestly, I don’t think Walmart’s have very low-key parking lots to cook in. The one in Dryden was my best experience so far, but I’m sure given enough chances, sooner or later, security would show up and shut that party down. I probably got semi-lucky on that one. Using the iPhone app, iOverlander, gave me a parking lot by a school and soccer field. I got busy cooking.

Yes, it was amazing. I was worried the whole time that some cops would show up and hassle me, and how I would go about telling the cops to fuckoff in the nicest way possible, so that I didn’t burn my dinner – I came pretty close to doing so anyways. I think I had this thought because a row of houses sort of overlooked this area, and because of first world problems.

First world problems: When people who are unwilling to confront their own problems, start looking around for problems, that aren’t really problems, but a way in which they can hold themselves to a higher standard, and use to make themselves feel better. There is no victim, and no accuser, other than the person looking for problems.

The most I got was a hardcore stare-down by a guy that must have been at least 150 yards away, who was walking on the sidewalk. This guy staired so long, his head went from about a 90-degree angle, to about a 135-degree angle a few minutes later as he continued to gaze. It’s a miracle he didn’t trip, fall, and have an adverse reaction. My congrats go out to him, what a killer – and I certainly enjoyed my dinner.

After I cleaned things up, I went to the gym. I had a good look around, put my things in the locker, and got onto the staircase machine. A few minutes in, I had a double take. I knew the gym closed at 11pm as it said so in Maps, but man did time get away from me, it was already 10:35pm! I needed to do 30 minutes so I can go en par with Andrew Tate – I want to beat his [past] record of something like 185 or 190 flights in 30 minutes. I had just enough time to fit in 30 minutes – actually, the gym would technically be closed about 30 seconds after I finished. I ended at about 156 flights, and the people there were trying to get me out. I was hoping they did a cleaning of some sorts for a half hour after closing, so that I could shower. Nope, I had to leave, and no other Planet Fitness in the city was open. So, I went to Tims – not before I got mugged by a roaming pack of mosquitoes in the dry and empty parking lot (I have no idea…). Expenses:

Steak money: $10    Café 4 U: $9.40        Tims: $2.60    Tims SK/AB: $2.60    Gas: $53.26 Walmart: $7.65        Expenses: $85.51

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